The Course - Welcoming Night The
roads we choose to navigate through life are as Like snowflakes, no two are alike. Experience
an opportunity to decide what works There are no rights and no wrongs with the course. No test. |
The Course - Welcoming Night
Registering
one hundred and ninety-five attendees was busy and fraught with frustration
when registrants didn’t
receive private rooms as requested and found out they were in a dorm sharing
a bathroom and kitchen. At the
end of the day everyone was
satisfied, wrinkles ironed out and the light-hearted buzz in the foyer was
testament
to the staff and volunteers who made things happen.
In
the corner of the foyer was a non-descript raised platform placed in front
of a massive stained glass window
that faced east. Rae Ketchum was handed
a wireless microphone by Suzanne, the lead for the team running the course.
“It’s after eight, time for your welcoming speech,” Suzanne winked.
Rae
smiled sweetly, placing a calm hand on her arm, giving it a light squeeze.
“You are the best at keeping me on
schedule.” Moistening her lips, rotating her shoulders before tossing
them back, she stood tall and flicked on the
mic.
“Hello and welcome to YOUR seven day adventure,” echoed loudly throughout the foyer.
People shuffled about looking for the person behind the voice as the buzz in the room slowed to a trickle.
Rae
deliberately paused a few long seconds before repeating her words, this time
softer, pausing again for effect.
Stepping on the platform she repeated the
words with a heart-felt lilt in her voice, capturing peoples eyes in hers,
pausing to personally nod a silent welcome to those who didn’t look
away.
“I
am so very pleased, yes so very pleased to welcome all of you.” She
parted her feet, similar to a military pose,
yet gentler. Placing her free hand over her heart she continued, “Each
and every one of you have made a
commitment to yourself. I honour you for taking the time to get to
know yourself again.” Her eyes welled up.
“All of us, each of
us, our individual journey to this point in time is something to be proud
of…” Rae pulled back
the corner of her mint green linen jacket
and deliberately placed a hand in the hip pocket of cream pants.
“We
all question why our lives are the way they are, whether the question is chronic
or simply spoken during a
tough stretch. We seek therapy, counseling, whether
professional or over a cup of joe with a pal…we seek guru’s,
we
read a plethora of books, we take courses, we join like-minded groups, meditate,
see psychics, travel to India
and we try different religions, rebirthing, regression, channeling, numerology,
astrology, aroma therapy, chi
gong...the list goes on.
“All
of these different modalities are perfect for us at that moment in time.
Past, present and future. That is why
we gravitated toward them, that is why they were, are presented to us at
that time and yes, they help us, give us
a boost,
a new direction, a different way to look at life and the way we live it.
“It is all good!”
Right
on cue, Suzanne slid a stool on to the stage. Rae pulled it over and sat,
hooking the heel of a loafer on a
rung with the other firmly planted on the
stage. She brushed her shoulder length brown hair behind an ear.
“You
are taking seven days out of your life on this planet to seek the answers
to the questions you have…you are
already a champion. Why? Because you
have committed to yourself, not to me, not to the person standing next to
you…to yourself.
“I
was told by an attendee she was here ‘cause her partner made her come;
both are attending the course. It
is their last ditch effort at making their relationship work. My response
was, why the HELL are you in that
relationship?!”
A
wave of shock washed across faces in the foyer, not so much from the strength
in Rae’s voice, but from her
switch in energy. Everyone felt it. Even Suzanne and the crew, who immediately
snapped to attention and they
were accustomed to her ability to instantly flip to a strong energy to accentuate
a point.
Rae chuckled, attendees relaxed, some letting out a breath they didn’t realize they were holding.
“She
had the same look on her face as all of you did,” Rae laughed heartedly,
tossing
open her palm to accentuate
the point.“Come
on now, last ditch effort?! Those three words summed up their entire relationship
in under
five seconds.” Rae stood slowly. “Listen to the words you speak.
They tell you more about yourself, where you are
at and what you want to know than drawing any tarot card or rune stone.
“In
1995, I journeyed on a quest, a solo quest to get to know myself again. On
the spur of the moment I
went to Tofino, BC, for seven days.” Rae paced
the platform, grabbing hold of people’s eyes in the audience.
“Catching
a late ferry to Nanaimo, I scoured the racks of brochures in search of the
section for Tofino. Planting
myself in front of the area I called hotels to
book a room: I arrived there just after midnight.
“Upon
checking in I told the owners I didn’t want room service. When I required
new towels or sheets
changed I would let them know.
“I had hastily packed a
duffle bag full of supplies: sage, sweet grass, copal, charcoal pucks, crystals,
candles, rune
stones, journal, hiking gear, day pack, water...” a mischievous grin
inched across her face.” …wine infused with a
spicy cigar box oak aroma, frosty ice cold beer…” she winked,
the audience murmured a chuckle,“…fruit,
snacks…I was prepared
for anything and commenced building my container in what was to be my sanctuary
for
seven days. I had no clue what was to unfold, nor did I care.
“I
only knew I wanted to find out who I was - I wanted to get to know myself.”
She cocked an eyebrow at
the crowd. “I spent the previous three years
dedicated to my spiritual growth and had a love, hate relationship
with the process.
"I
put myself in cognitive therapy and spiritual therapy. I worked with my mind
and the life
events that brought me to that point in time, then would immediately leap
into spiritual therapy whether that was
channeling, rebirthing, past life regression and so on. A stellar individual
crossed my path that was not only a
registered therapist but a firm believer in New Age practices and she
was trained in various modalities of that
practice.”
Rae snapped her free arm wide. “I HIT THE JACKPOT.”
Carefully
tucking the hand into a pocket she let the words linger a moment. When the
energy shifted, she
continued, “I hiked forests, trails, miles and miles
of beaches. I wrote page after page in my journal, I talked
to myself and
let life’s moments engulf me. I would sit for hours staring at a pool
of sea urchins and starfish
feeling what it was like to be them. I would rest
for hours against logs in desolate spots on beaches tapping into
the rhythm
of mother earth, staring out at sea.
“I would stand at the waters
edge and experience the pull of the tide go in and out at my feet, the strong
tug
as the waves were sucked back from where they came, my feet sinking deep in
the sand, into the womb of
mother earth,” she swept a hand up her
body, “drawing goodness up through me,” she brushed the back of
the
hand down, “releasing stuff away to be transmuted to love and joy.
A process of emptying and re-filling that was
repeated over and over.
Rae dragged the stool closer, resting a hand on the seat. “It
was a wonderful five days." She broke into a slow,
wide smirk.
“On
the sixth I went to Florencia Bay and walked the rock strewn beach for miles
until I felt an old weathered
tree drawing me in. This massive structure was various shades of grey, bleached
from years lying on its side on
the beach totally exposed to the elements.
"An
old tree, this I could tell by the sheer size of its exposed gnarly root ball…I
nestled myself next to it,
laid out my blanket, placed my crystals purposefully around, journal, water
and other things and leaned back.
"I let the rhythm of the earth lull me, the sound of the waves caress me and the warmth of the sun cradle me.
“There
wasn’t a soul in sight.” Rae walked to the side of the platform
and snapped out a hand. “I had the entire
bay to myself.” Suzanne
placed a book in it. Rae held it up.
“I
am going to read you what I wrote that day.” Rae leaned against the
stool and flipped open a well used
journal. “It is titled:
The Turning Point.
“One
life (this time) one story, one amazing person (me) who had the courage
to be the very best they could be. It has
not been without trials and tribulations
– Oh No! The T&T’s in life is what brought me to this point.
I
sit nestled up to a tree that died a long time ago, fallen of the cliff behind
me. Its character and vitality, although
dead, exposed to the elements which have been, over the years, harsh and unkind
to this soulless being, was once a
grand tree, this I can tell by the roots and long straight trunk that would
have borne many a tall branches. The only
thing left are the stories I could conjure up by looking at this empty shell.
Although no soul lives in it any longer – the diva since been long gone –it tells me a story about my life.
The
twists and the gnarls of the once mighty roots remind me of my awakening years
ago when I first came into this
world. I was not so pleased at being contained in this Carbon Unit that had
an EGO! Going into body in the womb I
fought
all the way. ‘I don’t want to do this anymore,’ I shouted
as I was becoming human – spirit forms don’t think
that way - ONLY CARBON UNITS WITH OUT OF CONTROL EGOS DO!
My spirit side knew and wanted the experiences which were to unfold.
As I became enmeshed in this melon like host, I pulled down the veil that took me years to pull up.
Let’s
not forget the tree: its gnarled roots tell me it was once sturdy and had
strength. These roots went deep into the
earth for nourishment, encouragement and energy until it let go of its foundation.
That
about sums up the first part of the Carbon Unit’s life. At a very young
age of two or three (and I distinctly
remember doing this) I did not want
this Carbon Unit's B.S. anymore, so I climbed up on the hope chest, grabbed
the
drapery cord (mother tied them high in knots like a noose so we wouldn’t
play with them), slipped my head through
the bottom half and jumped off.
Relief
finally, I thought, but my spirit side said no, this is not why I am here.
I am here to learn and to open up others
to the veil which is clouding them. Low and behold, as if on cue, my soul
sister Sue came in and saw me, and ran and
got Mom. Mom pulled me out and told me years later I was blue in the face.
My
soul sister Sue how I enjoy her in spirit form now. She died at twenty-four
and was my best friend, one who knew
me better than myself. That was our contract and much more, and that is another
story in itself.
My
very first psychic experiences were as a young child. Seeing colours and people
who weren’t of this plane. I was
told they were my imaginary friends
and didn’t exist. OH the things in society and our culture, what we
have done to
ourselves over the many years is very sad: the masks, preconceived notions
of what truly is all but an illusion.
So
not being able to leave this plane and not being able to play and talk to
my imaginary friends, because surely they
didn’t exist, I put my head
down and bulled ahead through life with my warrior side up front to deflect
and defend
myself. I created a chasm, a deep pit in which I lived for many
years, until after her death, my soul sister Sue came
back to visit me and
she reminded me truly how things are meant to be.
For a brief moment in time I understood and remembered the way it is to be.
But
still didn’t believe it ‘cause I was in this warrior mode (DAMM
EGO) and liked where I was. Where no one (and
I am only referring to myself)
could touch me.
Ah,
the tree and all its splendor. When it let go of its foundation it went for
a long fall, to its slow death totally
exposed to the elements. A death it chose to have. A choice of a way to live.
Yup,
that’s me, warrior, warrior, warrior all the way. I should be a General
by now for all the battles I fought against
myself.
So,
since it is a battle with the self, I do, hereby, decree you, Rae Ketchum,
rank – warrior, ID #, who knows and who
cares, to be a four star General
in the battle of beating yourself up over the years. CONGRATULATIONS.
Till
finally one day I decided to let go of my supports and tear down this house
of a pit I created. It was a slow and
sometimes not so steady process starting
consciously four years ago. Three to be exact when I made a choice to pull
up that veil and see what it is I am missing in this Carbon Unit’s life.
Oh sure whose to say I didn’t have fun on the way… and look at all those good times.
But,
you know, it was the ‘bad’ times that I grew from, when I allowed
myself to and didn’t crawl back into my pit.
The times I put fear (THAT
DAMM EGO AGAIN) aside and lived in my heart and truly listened to my heart
for what
it was telling me, everything flowed naturally and easily.
HUH,
I said, after experiencing these times more and more, what’s this? If
I listen to my heart and not my head
everything seems to turn out okay.”
Rae
paused, engaging attendees' eyes. “An island was in the middle of the
bay and at that precise moment of
writing a massive crack from a falling tree on that island echoed around the
bay. A truly, magnificent experience.”
She allowed a moment of silence to ripple across the foyer before she continued.
“This
tree reminds me of my journey to this point in my life. I have honoured myself
the time to get to know myself
again and I like what I see.
A death of a way of living by letting go of your foundation and supports, but something always lives on.
For
a moment today I left my tree, my new found companion, and strolled the shore
with my head down focused on
what was immediately in front of me. The pebbles
blemished the sand as they were spaced quite far apart. I looked off
to my
right and saw footprints. These would be mine from a previous stroll (or was
it a previous journey?).
I’ve
been this route before but I appear to be on a different path. ODD. I looked
back at where I had come and saw
ahead to where I was going and thought, wait
a minute there four star General Ketchum, this is exactly the strategy
for
a loved filled life.
There is no need for it to be hard, only if you choose it to be. It can be easy and fun.
As
I continued to stroll the pebbles grew closer together. I realized I needed
to plot my course around them for an
even path. The more I walked, the bigger
and closer together they became. I had to walk on them and mind my step.
I
had to walk slower as my path was growing increasingly hard and treacherous.
I glanced forward to my goal and
dared not glance backwards. I did not want
to fall. I did stumble a few times but always regained my balance.
With
focused intent I marched on to the beat of a new strategy. A new path, a new
way of walking. As soon as I
thought I had enough of the boulders and the
difficult path, the stones started to grow increasingly smaller and were
spreading
out from one another.
I looked up and my goal was there…right in front of me.
I
looked beyond that goal to another spot on the beach and with head held high
I marched on marveling at the steep
eroded cliffs and the rain forest that sat on top, the beach strewn with logs
and piles of sea kelp artistically
placed creating an ever changing image as the tide came in and out.
I reached my goal and felt a sense of relief. The turning point to which I returned from.
The
waves sang their song as I turned on my heels and walked back from where I
had come. The exhaustion I felt as
I dropped my heavy coats and shed my old
skin, although, walking was easier and had new rhythm. Every once in a
while
I would trip on a pebble, a gentle reminder to remain focused and I know this
reminder will stay with me for
the rest of this life.
As
I glanced from side to side I realized I could not see my footprints leading
me to my goal. I looked back and saw
my footprints behind me, but others were nowhere in sight. It wasn’t
the waves erasing their memory as I walked
high above the shore line.
Yes, this was the affirmation I needed to conclude I had in fact closed that door on the old way of life.
Yes,
my structure was gone and only my foundation remained. A solid base that brought
me to this point. And that
base will always be under my feet as I build my
new structure with new tools and a new way of living. Free to build
on my
path as I choose. Clear of all previous habits, patterns, preconceived notions…room
by room, nail by nail and
this building process will take the rest of this
lifetime in this Carbon Unit.
I
saw my friendly tree down the beach with one root pointing up to the heavens
and another pointing out west to the
ocean.
As
I nestled in amongst its roots, warming my soul in the sun, using its trunk
as my back support, I thanked this
tree for what it taught me. I honoured its spirit…where ever it was,
as I honoured my own for allowing these
experiences to flow through me.
The
sun was slowly closing the day, casting long autumn shadows across the beach.
It was time for me to go. It was
no coincidence I nestled into that tree.
It called me there for a reason.
It told me it was only dead wood now, but its spirit, its new way of life lives on.
And
you, my friend, General Ketchum have closed that door and opened a new one
filled with wonderment and
excitement.
Your new journey has just begun!
May you always trip when you need reminding of the lesson, the turning point you reached on the beach.”
Tears
streamed down Rae’s face. She smiled sweetly at the audience, giving
a slight bow, letting the energetic
imprint of her experience settle.
One
person clapped weakly and softly. Then another, and another until the foyer
was full of sound; a drum beat
of thanks for sharing her
journey.
Rae
placed her hands in prayer position, bowing deeply to the crowd, then stepped
off the platform and exchanged
the mic for Kleenex from Suzanne.
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Author: Marie Dixon
Music: Norm Smookler - Temple of Four Winds - Deer
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